Re-Committing

I have a confession to make.  Not a happy one, not a motivating one.  I am getting ready to finish my 11th week of WW, and I blew it.  Not just a little bump, but a big huge dump truck of dumb choices. 

My first mistake was thinking I can have two days off after my weigh in because I have five more to make up for it.  Wrong, wrong, wrong.  There are no "days off" in the WW world.  This is why they give you the extra 49 weekly points - so you can have moments of indulgence, not entire days. 

My second mistake was eating an unhealthy version of my "trigger" food.  Tuesday night we had pepperoni pizza.  It was a "holiday" (Valentines Day), and since I still had my six days left I thought what the heck?  Boo!!  I should've gone with my instincts and gotten a thin crust veggie pizza like I usually do when we order pizza.  So instead I ate too much pepp pizza and was so upset with myself I didn't journal so I wouldn't have to acknowledge it.  This started me on a rapid downward spiral into not making good food choices the rest of the week.  As not only did I eat bad pizza and too much of it on Tuesday night, but then we had leftovers that I couldn't or didn't stay away from on Wednesday.  Double boo.

My third mistake was not eating my fruits & veggies or drinking my water.  Since I was on this downward spiral, had some uncommon stresses in my week, I quite frankly just stopped making that extra effort you need to be successful in reaching your goals.  I MAYBE had one or two servings a day, and MAYBE had two or three glasses of water.  *shaking my head at myself*  WW works because it is a healthy, balanced food plan - taking out both those elements does not equal success either for your weight loss or your health.

And finally, my fourth mistake - and the biggest one - was not journaling.  Because I was ashamed of myself and knowing I was making conscious bad choices - I didn't journal until today (Sunday).  I didn't want to see what I was doing to myself.  So instead of owning my decisions and just dealing with it, I hid them which is ironically what has made me so overweight in the first place.

I apologize for also having gotten lazy with blogging, with discovering new recipes to share with you, and for letting my judgement become impaired and in turn becoming what NOT to do, instead of a positive example.  Let my bad choices and mistakes be a lesson for you that you do not have to learn first hand.  Know that your LIFE is more important than food, and that your GOALS matter enough to do the work WW requires.  Like the commercials say "if you want it you got it" - but you have to want it more than you want a piece of pizza,  more than you want to just put the pen down and fall back into bad habits.

This is a new day, a fresh start and time to repent and move forward with a hard lesson learned.  I DO want this, and I am re-committing to putting in the work and effort it takes to get there.